41 Things I’ve Learned

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Every year on my birthday, I reflect on the year and all the things that I’ve learned thus far. I never take it for granted that God has blessed me to see yet another year. I’m a scorpio and I am one goofy southern gal and to think God blessed me with two little special people who has some of my goofiness within them.  You will know when you come up on us. We are the smaller version of the brady bunch.  Today, I want to share with you some of the things I have learned last year, so sit back and relax and enjoy a glass of eggnog or wine.

  1. Never take yourself so serious that you can’t laugh at yourself. If you could be a fly on the wall, at my place, some of stuff I be doing will probably make you laugh so hard your wig will fall off (my sisters will get this lol)
  2. Remain humbled. I have learned that we all are gifted at one thing or another but never allow it to make your ego sky-rocket and look down on others.
  3. Apologize quickly. During last year, I had to allow God to process me and help me to not hold grudges towards people who hurt me or try to hurt me. Still a work in progress, but i’m so grateful that I’m not where I use to be.
  4. Some people don’t need to be in your personal space even if its family. Sad to say but family can hurt you so badly but what i’ve come to realize is that I can love my family but keep them at a distance.
  5. Don’t be afraid to take a chance on you. After life happened to me in 2016, I thought my life was at a stand still, but what i’ve learned is different seasons have to end so new ones can begin.
  6. Divorce is hard but you will live again. After my divorce, life was a little hard with adjusting to being single again and living and doing life without my ex. As time went on, I found my way and things are really great now.
  7. Everybody won’t understand the new me. People like to keep you stuck in your past, your pain but that’s not my problem, I have to be okay with that and get around people who are apart of my destiny and not my past.
  8. Studying God’s work became a MUST do. Even though, I’ve always read God’s word, this past year, I joined an online christian group and when I tell you the accountability and reading God’s word daily along with my affirmations is like drinking lemon water…. It is so so good!
  9. Not everybody is out to hurt me. For so long, I isolated myself and wouldn’t try anything new out of fear of being hurt and rejected. Oh it’s something about diving in that word and getting it on the inside of you, it gives you hope, faith and confidence.
  10. Trying all types of new things. Life can get stagnated or boring when you stop living and trying new things. Lord, I’ve zip-lined and tried all kinds of new foods (still don’t like mexican food but hey i tried it) and my next adventure is horseback riding.
  11. Don’t be afraid to follow your heart. All those dreams of travelling and seeing the world is all possible with God. Following my heart is something that I whole-heartedly do nowadays.
  12. Trust my instinct. If I feel like something is off, I have learned to pay attention and trust that God is warning me.
  13. Laugh more. I watch so much comedy these days that everywhere I go I make people laugh.
  14. Learning new hobbies. Over this last year, I’ve learned to cook new recipes (I love being in the kitchen), learned to crochet, next on the list is painting. I want to bring that artist out of me. Shhhhhh she’s in there somewhere.
  15. Started back working on my credit. After my divorce, my credit was shot to heck! I’m finally getting my credit and finances back on track. I do not want to take any baggage into my next marriage.
  16. I gave myself permission to be delivered from my wounds of rejection and abandonment. It feels freeing to finally have my heart opened again for new adventures, relationships, experiences.
  17. Make new friends. Though at my age, being that I’m not in the clubs or street life, I don’t meet people as fast, but I have new friends and looking forward to making more christian friends at my church.
  18. Spend more one-on-one time with my children is a MUST. They are growing up quickly and they need different parts of me. Can you believe i’m about to have a teenager. Geesh i’m getting younger lol
  19. Don’t just teach my kids about God, but walk it out. My kids have witnessed me praising God at our new place and praying the word. I asked them what my favorite thing to do and they both said, praising God and being silly. I love that they can watch God transform me right before their eyes.
  20. Made peace with my past. Though it was a journey and still is, I changed my perspective on how I view it. The mistakes I made, I can now teach my children how to avoid them and show other women how to maneuver through life, when things don’t go the way you planned.
  21. Always wear a smile. Your smile is one of your biggest assets on your face. I wear mines very well
  22. Show kindness and mercy towards everyone. A little kindness can make someone’s day cause truth be told, we are all struggling with something.
  23. Let go of isolation. I think I have lived my life isolated for far too long. I’ve been in my own little bubble and let’s just say I burst that one. That’s no fun at all.
  24. Kicked fear to the curb. Fear had me afraid of my own shadow. I use to worry about everything that could go wrong and for the most part, none of it ever happened but hey that’s what fear is.
  25. I learned to talk to God more. I do believe God be saying up there in those pearly gates, that this little short daughter of mines NEVER shuts up. She is always talking.
  26. I also learned that divorce is NOT the end of the world that I will definitely love again and I will. Let’s just say that what I use to be attracted to in men is not the same. Yes, I want you sexy as heck, but Looooorrrrd Jesus, can you pray and cover me and my kids? Are you secure in who God designed you to be? Lord that’s so sexy to me.
  27. Not all men cheat. Even though I’ve always known this, it’s more and more evident that lord there are some amazing and God fearing men still out there and one is somewhere praying for me. I’m surrounded by Godly men everyday who love and adore God.
  28. I have a deeper love for God. My love for God is so strong and sometimes it makes me cry just thinking about how much I love him and he loves me.
  29. No matter where I am or where I live God is always with me. Sometimes I felt like God didn’t here me or love me because i’ve failed so many times, but lately, when i’m worshipping him while cleaning or cooking, I feel his presence.
  30. Be still and stop doing. Since August of 2018, I’ve been on a new journey with God and when I tell you dealing with my wounds of rejection, It made me fall to my knees with sobbing tears.  This process was so needed and I’m still on it but i’m learning to not be an energizing bunny all the time.
  31. Fasting and praying has to be done regularly. Some things in my life was not willing to come off of me except through fasting. It amazes me how God works miracles with my obedience. (i can be a little hard headed)
  32. Learning and memorizing scriptures has taught me how exactly God feels about little ole me. I have never dived into the word so hard in my life until now. If I wanted to see a change in my personality, my everyday mood and self reflection, I had to first know how my God feels about me and see me.
  33. No one can fill the void I had in my life. For years, I felt that I had to be successful and I had to show the world that I didn’t need anyone  so I wanted to proved that I was okay. When I tell you none of it made me feel worthy, the degrees, my business, writing books or any of it. I still felt empty inside, until I really started to work on my relationship with God.
  34. I learned how broken I was. When I started diving into God’s word, I realized that I’ve never really been a whole woman. Of course, I put up a good front. I can dress nice, look nice and speak the right language, but on the inside, I was this broken little girl.
  35. Stop dumbing myself down. I have learned a lot of stuff and still learning a lot but I’ve come to realize that I dumb myself down to make others feel good. That had to come to an end. If I know something go ahead and shout it to the rooftop. That’s what fear does to you, you try to fit in. I wasn’t born to fit in, I was born to stand out.
  36. Acknowledge and validate myself. For far too long, I looked to my family or the men I dated to validate me and oh honey that is way too much for any human being to handle. It’s no one else’s job to validate me or make me happy; that’s my job and mines alone. (I know my future hubby will love me for working on myself now)
  37. It’s okay to let go of people. Everybody can’t go with me in this season and it’s not my job to try to take them with me.
  38. Dating has a whole other meaning to me. Its so funny how, I think about how I use to date in my twenties and thirties. I can’t be playing with God’s son and they can’t be playing around with God’s favorite daughter.
  39. Being a single woman again is so funny. Lord being a single woman and mother of two children is funny because when I come across a man that catches my attention, and he speaks to me, I be so nervous and I take off running on the inside (no one sees that though). Being a mom of a son, every time a man gets close to me, it’s almost like my son has his man radar on, “What’s up” in his deep voice. Too funny
  40. Being single is not a death sentence. Everytime, I’m around a mother of the church, the first thing they say, honey where is your husband, uhm, I don’t have one… I’m not rushing to get another husband, in God’s timing I will have the best of the best. In the meantime, I’m enjoying this season of my life.
  41. Don’t be afraid to build a new life. So much of my life has been filled with worry and fear that when you get free of that, now the hard work begins. I’m so excited about starting this new chapter and I can’t wait for me and my kiddos to rebuild.

I hope my list of things I’ve learned will be a blessing to you and I would love it if you would share it with your peeps!

QUESTION: What have you learned about yourself in this season of your life?

LaTersa Blakely is the founder of The Mommy Maven's Blog and The I Am Enough Movement. She enjoys teaching moms how to start and grow their business while creating harmony within their homes. She's also a featured blogger in the Real Simple Magazine and best selling author of MOMPRONEUR.

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